Everyone prepares you for the new baby. Almost no one tells you what to expect from the kids who are already home, whether they're becoming a big sibling for the first time or welcoming another new addition to the family.
Here's the thing worth knowing: this adjustment is normal. Expected. Not a sign you did anything wrong. Kids at any age, any birth order, are wired to notice change, and a new baby is a big one. That's not a parenting failure. It's just what growing families feel like from a kid's-eye view.
So when your toddler has a rough week with potty training, or your school-age kid seems a little more clingy or a little more "off" than usual, or a child who's been through this before still wants extra snuggles, that's not regression you caused, and it's not something you need to fix. It's just a normal wobble while everyone finds their new footing. It passes.
A few things that genuinely help, from the therapist side of this. None of them require doing more:
A heads-up goes a long way. Something simple like "Things might feel a little different for a bit when the baby comes, and that's okay" helps kids feel prepared, not blindsided. Takes thirty seconds, no guilt required.
Let the wobbly moments be wobbly. If a kid wants the bottle back for a week or needs extra help with something they usually do alone, that's fine. It's not a habit that's forming. It's a moment passing through.
Little pockets of one-on-one time, whenever you can. Even ten minutes, no baby, their pick of activity. Doable in the middle of newborn chaos, and it doesn't have to be perfect or daily to count.
Feelings about the baby don't need managing. If a kid says "I don't love this," that's allowed. It's not a red flag. It's just a kid being honest, and honesty is a good sign, not a problem.
You're allowed to be tapped out too. You're recovering and parenting everyone at once. However it's getting done is enough.
None of this is about doing sibling transitions "right." Kids don't need a seamless adjustment. They need to know you're still there while things settle. That part, you're already doing.